I won't be watching

I won't be watching this year's Eurovision Song Contest. This may not mean much to UK readers, less still to US ones, but it puts me firmly out-of-step with the prevailing culture here in Bosnia and Herzegovina. It's not that I'm boycotting the event or attempting to display some assumed cultural superiority, it's simply a case of a calender clash; that and the disappointment the act I favoured didn't make it out of the Semi-Final the other night. I am no longer bothered by Saturday's results.

I was never going to root for BiH's entry – I haven't heard it but people who have haven't exactly encouraged me to – nor do I care for the crooning of old Engelbert. My money would go to Rambo Amadeus, partly because I have paid to see him perform in the past but mostly because his song is a brilliant satire of all things Euro. Unfortunately for Montenegro it seems that not everyone shares his sense of humour.

The second Semi-Final is tonight. If I have to take sides I'd like to throw my weight behind the beautifully name 'Litesound', a boy band from Belarus. Their piece of painting-by-numbers Europop manages to contain almost every lyrical cliché know to man. Take, for example, the first chorus: Whatever's standing in my way,
We'll make it through the day, Cause we are the winners,
We are the heroes. Yes, the song is called 'We are the heroes' and, judging by the video, in their own minds they clearly are. Best of luck to them!


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